Divorced Parents

With the divorce rate somewhere around 50% of all marriages, chances are that you will probably have to deal with at least one set of divorced parents at your wedding. You may run into problems like parents who don’t want to work with other parents, parents who don’t get along, and various other wrenches that having divorced parents help throw into the works.

The good news is, if you act sensibly throughout the wedding planning process and keep everyone’s feelings in mind, you’ll probably be able to pull off a great event- even with divorced parents- without shedding any tears.

The first piece of advice I can offer you is this- planning a wedding is stressful without the divorce in the picture. But PLEASE don’t think that the problems you run into have been caused by the divorce. Even couples with happily married parents find that their mothers and fathers argue over certain wedding planning details. So it isn’t just divorced parents that fight.

With that said, you’ve got to approach your wedding plans in one of two ways. If your parents get along well and will cooperate as you see fit, then you can go ahead with your wedding plans as any other bride or groom would. However, if your parents tend to fight, don’t get along, or aren’t on speaking terms, then you’ll need to keep them separate and figure out a way to have them both be involved with the wedding without causing any conflict.

Assuming that just your parents are going to be involved in planning because they’ll be footing the bill, here’s a way to do it: Have your father handle the reception and your mother deal with the ceremony. That means your father will be involved with helping to select the reception site, the meal, the flowers for the tables, and the entertainment. Your mother will work with the church or ceremony site coordinator, book a musician for the ceremony, and handle flowers for the wedding.

Of course there’s no magic way to keep your parents from making you want to call off the wedding. But having a plan of action to keep everyone at ease during your wedding (especially your parents) will definitely help you have the best day of your life! And always remember: your parents love you and they just want you to be happy!

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